Silly songs from Tolkien
by lady ix
Summary: classic christmas carols gone hobbity and a children's classic revisited... read. enjoy. review. repeat.
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I OWN TOLKIEN!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! and gullible is written on the ceiling.

On the first day of the Quest, Gandalf gave to me  
One case of hobbit burglary.

On the second day of the Quest, Gandalf gave to me  
Two skins for Beorn  
And one case of hobbit burglary

On the third day of the Quest, Gandalf gave to me  
Three hungry trolls,  
Two skins for Beorn,  
And one case of hobbit burglary.

On the fourth day of the Quest, Gandalf gave to me  
Four elven feasts,  
Three hungry trolls,  
Two skins for Beorn,  
And one case of hobbit burglary.

On the fifth day of the Quest, Gandalf gave to me  
Five armies,  
Four elven feasts,  
Three hungry trolls,  
Two skins for Beorn,  
And one case of hobbit burglary.

On the sixth day of the Quest, Gandalf gave to me  
Six riddles asked,  
Five armies,  
Four elven feasts,  
Three hungry trolls,  
Two skins for Beorn,  
And one case of hobbit burglary.

On the seventh day of the Quest, Gandalf gave to me  
Seven ponies for Smaug,  
Six riddles asked,  
Five armies,  
Four elven feasts,  
Three hungry trolls,  
Two skins for Beorn,  
And one case of hobbit burglary.

On the eighth day of the Quest, Gandalf gave to me  
Eight silk handkerchiefs,  
Seven ponies for Smaug,  
Six riddles asked,  
Five armies,  
Four elven feasts,  
Three hungry trolls,  
Two skins for Beorn,  
And one case of hobbit burglary.

On the ninth day of the Quest, Gandalf gave to me  
Nine Lord of the Rings forshadowings,  
Eight silk handkerchiefs,  
Seven ponies for Smaug,  
Six riddles asked,  
Five armies,  
Four elven feasts,  
Three hungry trolls,  
Two skins for Beorn,  
And one case of hobbit burglary.

On the tenth day of the Quest, Gandalf gave to me  
Ten dwarfs after the battle,  
Nine Lord of the Rings forshadowings,  
Eight silk handkerchiefs,  
Seven ponies for Smaug,  
Six riddles asked,  
Five armies,  
Four elven feasts,  
Three hungry trolls,  
Two skins for Beorn,  
And one case of hobbit burglary.

On the eleventh day of the Quest, Gandalf gave to me  
Eleven huge spiders,  
Ten dwarfs after the battle,  
Nine Lord of the Rings forshadowings,  
Eight silk handkerchiefs,  
Seven ponies for Smaug,  
Six riddles asked,  
Five armies,  
Four elven feasts,  
Three hungry trolls,  
Two skins for Beorn,  
And one case of hobbit burglary.

On the twelfth day of the Quest, Gandalf gave to me  
Twelve dwarfs plus one who came to tea,  
Eleven huge spiders,  
Ten dwarfs after the battle,  
Nine Lord of the Rings forshadowings,  
Eight silk handkerchiefs,  
Seven ponies for Smaug,  
Six riddles asked,  
Five armies,  
Four elven feasts,  
Three hungry trolls,  
Two skins for Beorn,  
And one case of hobbit burglary.

A/N: All right, a little early, but happy Yule everybody! Now, unless you review, you'll be getting my Yule log in the chest. K? K.

tah  
ix


	2. Does this have to have a title?

Disclaimer: The idea for this song came from a tee shirt found in the Council of Elrond shop, which has the third verse printed on it. As far as I could see in my search, no one there actually wrote an entire song. If they did, my sincere apologies go to them for infringing upon their work. As always, the ultimate respect goes to the Great Professor. Melkor made me do it.

A/N: You all know the tune, so lets here you sing!

If you're right and you know it, make a speech.  
If you're right and you know it, make a speech.  
If you're right and you know it, then your idiocy will surely show it,  
If you're right and you know it, make a speech.

If you're right and you know it, swear an oath.  
If you're right and you know it, swear an oath.  
If you're right and you know it, then your idiocy will surely show it,  
If you're right and you know it, swear an oath.

If you're right and you know it, slay your kin.  
If you're right and you know it, slay your kin.  
If you're right and you know it, then your idiocy will surely show it,  
If you're right and you know it, slay your kin.

If you're right and you know it, steal their ships.  
If you're right and you know it, steal their ships.  
If you're right and you know it, then your idiocy will surely show it,  
If you're right and you know it, steal their ships.

If you're right and you know it, abandon your friends.  
If you're right and you know it, abandon your friends.  
If you're right and you know it, then your idiocy will surely show it,  
If you're right and you know it, abandon your friends.

If you're right and you know it, start a war.  
If you're right and you know it, start a war.  
If you're right and you know it, then your idiocy will surely show it,  
If you're right and you know it, start a war.

If you're right and you know it, be a martyr.  
If you're right and you know it, be a martyr.  
If you're right and you know it, then your idiocy will surely show it,  
If you're right and you know it, be a martyr.

If you want this stupidity to continue, send a review.  
If you want this stupidity stopped, send a review.  
If the author's crazy and you know it, then your reviews will surely show it,  
If you're annoyed and you know it, send a review.

ix


	3. Sam got run over by a Nagul

Disclaimer: Y'know, this is really getting old. If want an official one, look at the previous chapter.

A/N: This has been way too long in coming. I'm sorry for it, I took a hiatus from writing, but I'm back (for now). So without further ado, because Tearful Joy asked for it….

Samwise Got Run Over By a Nazgûl 

Samwise got run over by a Nazgûl  
Coming home from the Dragon Yule-tide Eve  
Now you can say there's no such thing as Sauron,  
But as for me and the Gaffer, we believe.

He'd been quaffin' too much bitter  
And we begged him not to go,  
But he forgot his pipe weed, and he  
Staggered out the door into the snow.  
When we found him on Yule morning,  
At the scene of the attack,  
He had an Eye on his forehead  
And incriminating boot prints on his back.

Samwise got run over by a Nazgûl  
Coming home from the Dragon Yule-tide Eve  
Now you can say there's no such thing as Sauron,  
But as for me and the Gaffer, we believe.

Now we're all so proud of Rosie,  
She's been taking this so well  
See her in there watching the fire  
Drinking whisky and  
Playing with little Elanor.  
It's not quite Yule without Samwise  
All the Gardner's dressed in black  
And we just can't help but wonder:  
Should we open up his gifts or send them back?  
Send them back!

Samwise got run over by a Nazgûl  
Coming home from the Dragon Yule-tide Eve  
Now you can say there's no such thing as Sauron,  
But as for me and the Gaffer, we believe.


End file.
